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Tuesday, January 29, 2008

January 29-- Skins State of the Union

Before I move on, tomorrow I plan on discussing (on the radio) what stupid questions I'd ask the Giants and Patriots had I been at the media day circus, so if you've got a good one in this vein: "Hey Eli, were you adopted?" or "Is Plaxico short for something?" let me know by using the comment section of the blog or e-mail directly to bram@bramshow.com
This probably will happen in the mystical second hour of my show aired on 1021. FM the Game and the Mighty 1490 in the Norfolk/VA Beach area but can be heard on line via their station web site.. I might bring it up with Larry tomorrow too, so all good stupidity is welcome!

So I was watching George Bush's final state of the union address last night and couldn't help but feel the similarities of issues we the people of the United States are dealing with juxtaposed against those of the Skins.. I wonder, what Dan Snyder would say if he were forced to give a speech outlining the Skins state of the Union.. Here's my best guess

On National defense: We have had consistent success through the four years under what's his name but it came time to commit our forces to a new voice, a new leader. Greg Blatche has reigned on our joint chiefs of staff for four tours of duty. He will be our Petreus to what's-his-name's Rumsfeld. We have stressed continuity, staying on message and achieving the common goals of eradicating the terrorists (Giants,Cowboys, Eagles, Al Queda) so we aren't changing attack, but more streamlining it to fit it's new leader.. So we stand behind our decision to continue the surge, we just need a new voice behind it.

Leadership: These are uncertain times. To quote the great Rick Pitino, "Joe Gibbs is not walking through that door." History will look kindly on Washington football's version of JFK. Gibbs was camelot, but camelot can continue with Jim Fassel er, Ron Meeks, I mean, Steve Spag-noo-na-na, er Steve Moochee, or whoever we hand the the kingdom over to. Some call our decision to hire a new offensive coordinator and promote a defensive coordinator unorthodox, I call it brilliant. And so will our new coach because he has to.. We cannot replace Joe Gibbs because we are incapable of legally cloning people, but we are working on that legislation as we speak.

Motto of 2008: "if it ain't broke don't fix it." We didn't have a general manager while Joe Gibbs was in office, and we didn't need one, right? We've been to the playoffs two of the last 3 years so Rich McKay and Phil Savage can stick it. Besides how would anyone know if it "is broke?" We haven't played a game in 2008 yet. Something can't be broke until it's broke, so we are asking for patience and trust. During the time of uncertainty, we will prevail. Or so you have to believe.

Economy: I keep hearing about all this recession stuff, but we make more money then anyone else. Sure our cap runneth over, but who'd you rather be behind, the team that hides during free agency or the team that calls the credit card company for a higher spending limit? We're rich beatch. Don't you like being rich? Ask Yankee fans if they think outspending is the wrong way to build a contender. Stimulus legislation and $500 tax breaks are for the Cardinals and Jaguars.

Overall: The state of the Redskins is good my friends. We know the uncertainty can be alarming in these trying times, but we will find a new leader, we will continue to spend heavily and we will move forward with more continuity then what appears at face value. We ask you to turn your attention to Iraq, gay marriage, Britney, dog fighters and the housing slump. Up here, you can be assured what we are doing is Super Smart.

Thank you!

OK men

4 Comments:

Blogger GLENDA said...

I have a question I would like to ask Plaxico Burress for media day coverage. " Hey Plaxico are you at all related to Souljah boy? You guys look a like."

Thanks

2:01 PM  
Blogger Daniel said...

Ask Strahan if he only came back this year because his divorce settlement cleaned him out and he needed the money.

As far as the state of the Redskins Union, Snyderrato has just declared that elections for a new owner have been postponed indefinitely due to the threat posed by the Axis of Evil (Iggles, Cowgirls, N.J. Giants). In the meantime, enjoy your $8 beer from your obstructed-view seats.

7:43 AM  
Blogger mike said...

Bram,

I agree that the Skins should have hired Gregg Williams. But with that said, one thing I will give Danny and Vinny credit for is putting Jason Campbell development first. I know everyone is saying the firing of Al Saunders did not help Campbell. I beg to differ. When Campbell was in Auburn he was developed under Al Borges, who runs the West Coast Offense. So Campbell has experince in the West Offense, so does Portis(Denver); Thrash (Philly); Mix (Auburn); and Llyod (San Fran). I have a good feeling about the offense and that Jim Zorn will play to Campell's strength and adjust to his development. Unlike Saunders who handcuffed Campbell through the year.

8:06 AM  
Blogger Military Uniform said...

Great that Al got hired so quickly! It will be interesting to see how quickly his offense is adapted by the players next. NFC team as well.

6:01 PM  

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